Now the Confrontation
So, here is David, the great man of God, King of Israel who commits a series of terrible sins that leads to terrible consequences. Rather than admit it, he covered them up with premeditated murder. Did God strike him down immediately? No! Months go by and God seems to be asleep.
People seem to get by with all kinds of wrongs that have been done to others, for a time. They willfully know what they are doing is wrong, but continue because they haven’t been caught. Things done in secret when deception is involved will be exposed as lies and will be found out; murders will be caught and plots will come to light. The world calls it “Karma,” but God calls it “Justice.”
David’s acts of sin were done in secret and willfully. He knowingly slept with another man’s wife, had her husband killed, and deliberately lived a lie the following months.
What was evil 3, 000 years ago, is still evil in God’s eyes today. If a person is married to another and sleeps with someone else, it’s still called adultery! When we try to reason away what we are doing, it can only lead to disaster. That is exactly what happened to David.
There are two kinds of guilt, true guilt and false guilt. True guilt comes from willfully and knowingly disobeying God. False guilt comes from judgments and suggestions from man. False guilt is when some judge others by their own convictions. They place them on others such as; a woman should only wear dresses, different restrictions, and so on.
You can look at it this way: If a warning light comes on in your car, you can either stop the car and check out what’s wrong or you can take a hammer and bust the warning light out so you don’t have to see it anymore. However, choosing the hammer will eventually lead to your car breaking down somewhere down the road.
Some Christians carry imaginary hammers to cut off their conscience. When the light of true guilt comes on, they bust it out, cut it off. Then if they continue to do those things, then realize what a dumb decision that was.
David was not relaxed after all these events. He had sleepless nights; he was miserable; and he had no joy. David’s is about to have a sudden moment of truth. In confronting another of their sin, timing is as important as the words we speak. However, we have to be sure that we were sent by God.
2 Samuel 12:1 – Then the Lord sent Nathan to David. And he came to him, and said to him: There were two men in one city, one rich and the other poor.
No one that surrounded David would tell David the truth. David respected God’s prophet, so he listened.
2 Samuel 12:2, 3 – “The rich man had exceedingly many flocks and herds. (Verse 3) But the poor man had nothing, except one little ewe lamb which he had bought and nourished; and it grew up together with him and his children. It ate off his own food and drank from his own cup and lay in his bosom; and it was like a daughter to him.”
By now, David must have been intrigued. He could probably sense that something was about to happen. Nathan continued.
2 Samuel 12:4 – “And a traveler came to the rich man who refused to take from his own flock and from his own herd to prepare one for the wayfaring man who had come to him, but he took the poor man’s lamb and prepared it for the man who had come to him.”
Anyone with any compassion or empathy would get angry with the rich man.
2 Samuel 12:5, 6 – Then David’s anger was greatly aroused against the man, and he said to Nathan, “As the Lord lives, the man who has done this shall surely die! (Verse 6) And he shall restore fourfold for the lamb, because he did this thing and because he had no pity.”
God’s timing is perfect. David believes Nathan is telling him about a rich man in Jerusalem. He’s king after all, and will make this man pay for what he has done. However, David is about to be confronted face to face with the truth, a rebuke from the Lord. These are not Nathans words. These next words came directly from God.
2 Samuel 12:7-12 – Then Nathan said to David, “You are the man! Thus says the Lord God of Israel, ‘I anointed you king over Israel, and I delivered you from the hand of Saul. (8) I gave you your master’s house and your master’s wives into your keeping, and gave you the house of Israel and Judah. And if that had been too little, I also would have given you much more! (9) Why have you despised the commandment of the Lord, to do evil in His sight? You have killed Uriah the Hittite with the sword; you have taken his wife to be your wife, and have killed him with the sword of the people of Ammon. (Verse 10) ‘Now therefore, the sword shall never depart from your house, because you have despised Me, and have taken the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be your wife: (Verse 11) Thus says the Lord: ‘Behold, I will raise up adversity against you from your own house; and I will take your wives before your eyes and give them to your neighbor, and he shall lie with your wives in the sight of the sun. (Verse 12) ‘For you did it secretly, but I will do this thing before all Israel, before the sun.”’
Wow! If we are ever commanded by God to be that messenger, be sure, and do it skillfully and do it humbly, as Nathan did. Anytime you are called to confront another, call it what it is. Don’t try to sugar coat it or redefine it. Don’t explain it away. We have to learn to call sin what it is—sin. But remember, we also have sinned, so stay humble and full of compassion. This has nothing to do with confronting everyone you know about what they are doing that you don’t like. This is confronting a close friend or family member, someone you love and telling them that they are doing wrong and need to stop. We do it out of love for them. When you do, it will cause that person’s heart to melt and realize they have done wrong, they have sinned.
People don’t like to confront anyone anymore about anything. Most of the time it’s because they are in fear of an argument. But what you don’t confront will stay, “right where it is at.”
David’s response was the right response.
2 Samuel 12:13, 14 – Then David said to Nathan, “I have sinned against the Lord.” And Nathan said to David, “The Lord has also put away your sin; you shall not die. (Verse 14) However, because by this deed you have given great occasion to the enemies of the Lord to blaspheme, the child also that is born to you shall surely die.”
When there is an admittance of guilt, relief will come. Nathan’s mission was complete. He turned and walked out. David is relieved to the point of writing Psalm 51. But, there is one detail of David’s sin he will have to deal with soon.
Yes, our God forgives us but the consequences of our actions can linger much longer than the pleasure we had while going against God’s principals.
To be effective when confronting another remember: We need to confront in absolute truth, right timing, wise wording, and fearless courage. If you know God sent you, just do it.
Get the facts straight first. Never go on what somebody else told you that so and so has said. And don’t tell two or three people first of what you are going to do. Without absolute truth, it could just be gossip.
Be thoughtful in your timing or you will drive that person away. If we stay prayerful and sensitive to the Lord, we will know when it’s the right timing. And, like Nathan, do it privately.
Nathan didn’t just walk up to David and scream, “You are in sin, and you are a murderer!” He used wisdom in his wording and in how he approached him.
Proverbs 25:11, 12 – A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver. (Verse 12) Like an earring of gold and an ornament of fine gold is a wise reprove to an obedient ear.
Your courage to confront another will come from the Lord, knowing that he sent you.
How will we know the person is truly repentant? If a person holds back the truth or part of it or makes excuses, they are not repentant. However, if the person makes an unguarded admission of what they’ve done, then turns around and goes in the opposite direction and makes a complete break from what they were doing, then they’re on the right path. True repentance will not leave you angry or defensive.
When we are confronted with our sin, we have the assurance of God’s forgiveness through the blood of Jesus Christ. This comes from God’s Holy Spirit giving us conformation on the inside and His Word.
Proverbs 28:13 – He who conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will find compassion.
Yes, we are forgiven of past, present, and future sin when we believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, but we also need to admit when we have wronged another. A clear conscience makes “One happy Christian!”